Thanks For Nothing, Amon Amarth.

Since those punk bastards in Amon Amarth didn't bother to record a Viking metal track to commemorate the New Year and thus save me again from having to write an appropriately themed post, I guess I am going to have to wing it. So if the content sucks, you can blame Johan Hegg.

Johan says "Also, Wolves is #1!"

Thankfully, the content will NOT suck, because I've decided to share with you one of my favourite pagan metal bands of all time, Wolfchant.

Wolfchant - "The Axe, The Sword, The Wind And A Wolf"

Wolfchant, formed in 2003, hails from Lower Bavaria in Germany and combines Nordic mythology with black metal vocals and straight up metally-metal in the style of bands like Månegarm and Thyrfing.  

Also, wolves.

Wolfchant - "The Desire Of A Wolf"

I guess you could say Wolfchant doesn't exactly break new ground, but I don't always want that from my metal.  Sometimes I just want a good aural pummeling, and Wolfchant definitely delivers on that front.  

This may seem like an odd topic for an end-of-the-year post, since it's not exactly new either and to my knowledge there is not a new album in the works for 2012...but in my opinion one of the beauties of folk metal and its related sub- and super-genres is that it looks to the past as well as the future and bids us remember our roots and traditions.  

Wolfchant - "Stormwolves"

Also, wolves.

Have a happy New Year, everyone.

Hærken Well, Ye Faithful.

I first heard about Hærken through one Andy Synn of the Nottingham, UK band Bloodguard when they played a tour last October/November somewhat appropriately called "Bearding the UK".  Hærken plays self-styled "medieval death metal".  Does that count as folk?  Probably not.  Nor Viking.  I might be able to swing it on the "pagan" tip but I think even that is reaching.  Now ask me if I care!

Hærken - "King Herla"

Dare I say 'infectious'?  That is some quality songsmithing in the true bardic tradition right there, if said bards were in the habit of cornering people in dark alleys and bludgeoning them to death with their lutes.  As far as I know, they've only got some demo tracks recorded at the moment, but I will be hovering over that metal feast like an angry vulture waiting to dive in and peck out any juicy eyeballs or innards that may surface.  Until then, you'll have to content yourself with whatever scraps I can carve off the internet's carcass.

Hærken - "Torquilstone"

Any band that can draw inspiration from Sir Walter Scott's 'Ivanhoe' for a kick-ass metal song is all right in my books.  Man, that works on so many levels.  'Books', get it?  Because, Ivanhoe?  You can get metal in many different places on the internet, but only here can you get this kind of quality comedy.  Enjoy...nay, revel...nay, BATHE in it, for it shall enrich you and make your hair sleek and shiny.

Raise Your Horns For The Fallen.

I am sad to report that the internet has lost a fantastic metal site, The Number of the Blog.  In true Viking fashion, I pillaged this banner from the innocent villagers over at NCS:

You can read the tale of the final battle at that selfsame place, in this post.  Now I know Herr Grover, Gaia, Ziltoid, Tr00 Nate,  and the rest of the crew over at TNOTB will be present elsewhere and I hear there is a NEXT STAGE involved but still...there's only one proper thing to do when a comrade falls in battle.  Viking funeral!

So long, TNOTB, may you drink mead in Valhalla with Odin and sexy valkyries until the final doom of Ragnarok.

Plunder: 'Tis The Reason For The Season.

From all of me here at Also, Wolves...have yourself a very Viking Christmas.

Amon Amarth - "Viking Christmas"

What The Folk?

Chariovalda - "Freya"

Okay, I know this is not the usual Also, Wolves fare if Also, Wolves could be said to have "usual" fare.  However, I have posted the above track by Chariovalda for a few reasons.

1. It is the current musical project of one Sebas van Eldik, a.k.a. Sebas Bloeddorst, of the Dutch pagan metal band Heidevolk - it is, in fact, the reason he left the band after their last Heidenfest.

2. You can't really have folk metal without folk.  For many bands, folk metal is a way to express a deep and abiding love of their cultural history, which is something that I respect and find eminently fascinating.  Obviously it has great meaning, and it is not unprecedented for metal artists in this or any genre to "get back to their roots", so to speak.

Wardruna - "Laukr"

The above video is taken from Wardruna's live show at the opening of the Viking Ship Museum in Oslo, Norway.  For those that don't know, Wardruna is the brainchild of one Gaahl, former frontman of the black metal band Gorgoroth.

3. It's not metal but it's still a fucking cool song.

Don't worry, fellow hedgebangers.  I know you're all thinking that I've gone soft, and this blog is going to go from metal to Ren Faire tomfoolery in a matter of moments.  But fear not! Though I open my wolves to the folk community I am still a metalhead and this blog is about metal and so it shall remain.  Posts of this nature will only appear if the folk in question is related in some way to a metal band.  I'm trying to broaden your minds, you ungrateful fuckers.

Gorgoroth - "Carving A Giant" (Uncensored)

In Mother Russia, Metal Folks You.

Nevid is a Russian folk-death band I found out about thanks to the stalwart chaps over at NCS.  If I'm not mistaken (and I never am) Nevid is receiving a little more international attention right now thanks to their connection with the critically acclaimed ethnic-death band Kartikeya, to wit: one Roman "Arsafes" Iskorostenskiy, who has apparently worked with Nevid on their last couple of albums.  The band has gone through a number of lineup changes since they formed in 2004, keeping only Alexey "Lesiar" Agafonov as near as I can tell.  Despite that, their sound seems to have sustained itself through their body of work which includes four studio albums and a four-band split called "The Butterfly Effect" with Butterfly Temple and two other bands featuring BT members (Omela and Put Solcna).  It's an ear-hammering blend of folk and death metal which seems to be a particular specialty of Russian bands...and a particular favourite of yours Trolly. Here is a track from their debut album:

Nevid - "Zov Novoi Giperborei"

This particular track and album features their original female vocalist Ksenia, who now works with another Russian folk metal band, Kalevala.

On "Amber Hearts of Arktida" they were rocking a double Olga instead of Ksenia.  For your enjoyment, here's a track from that album. Also, "rocking a double Olga" is totally my new catchphrase.

Nevid - "Aghora"

Their current album, 2011's "Agarta", is one that features Arsafes, and you can tell.  There is a definite lean toward Kartikeya's sound here, but that's not a bad thing, and it's still definitely Nevid.

Nevid - "Elmorayak"

And just for fun, here's a cover tune off the same album.

Nevid - "Va Va Va"

I'm hoping this band starts to get a lot more exposure here in North America (starting here, ha ha) because this is the kind of shit I like. A lot.

PAGANFEST III in North America!

Holy shitballs!  Paganfest is coming in March, and the lineup is pretty boss: Turisas, Alestorm, Arkona, Ex Deo, and Huntress. Here's the dates, according to Alestorm's FB.

3/29 - Baltimore, MD @ Sonar
3/30 - Worcester, MA @ Palladium
3/31 - New York, NY @ Gramercy Theatre
4/01 - Montreal, QC @ Club Soda
4/02 - Toronto, ON @ The Opera House
4/03 - Cleveland, OH @ Peabody's
4/04 - Detroit, MI @ Blondie's
4/05 - Chicago, IL @ Reggie's Rock Club
4/06 - Saint Paul, MN @ Station 4
4/07 - Louisville, KY @ Vernon Club
4/08 - Charlotte, NC @ Tremont Music Hall
4/09 - Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade
4/11 - Dallas, TX @ Trees
4/12 - Lubbock, TX @ Jake's
4/13 - Denver, CO @ Summit Music Hall
4/15 - Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven
4/16 - Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre
4/17 - San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge
4/18 - Los Angeles, CA @ Key Club

And I'm going to drop a Huntress video down here.  I dunno if this California band counts as folk metal (I'm gonna say 'no') but the video was fun and despite the lead singer's cheesecake, she can banshee it up like nobody's business.

Huntress - "Eight of Swords"

Dug the Tarot symbolism and eh, it's pretty catchy.  I'd rather see them than Polkadot Cadaver, anyway.

Fuck The Celts Right In Their Tír na nÓg.

So I've been getting some shit talk over on NCS because I don't like Celtic folk metal.  I was even told I had to turn in my folk metal card for that very reason.

The thing is, with the possible exception of the lovely and talented Loreena McKennitt, I really don't like Celtic folk music.

"This is my 'fuck you' face."

It's weird, though.  I mean it's not like I don't like bagpipes and flute in my folk metal.  That's crazy talk.  That's like saying I don't like Swedes in my death metal.  I'd like to blame it on over-saturation by my hippie parents (my dad is a Druid, see) but even that's not it...if they're guilty of over-saturating me with anything, it's the Bee-Gees.  And if I pride myself on anything besides my luxuriously silky pelt of back-hair, it's open-mindedness.  So I decided to scour the internet to see if I could find some Celtic-inspired folk metal that didn't make me want to kill some blue-painted hobo with a stone handaxe. That's an anthropology joke.

This is called a "celt".

Before you say anything, some wise wizard-beards have already mentioned Eluveitie, Cruachan, Bran Barr, Aes Dana, Waylander, and Suidakra.  All of whom I've listened to, and none of whom won me over.  And let us not forget the British bastards who started it all, the (thankfully not-so-aptly named) band Skyclad.

I want to love Skyclad, I really do.  I mean they're the grandfathers of the genre.  And with their wry, tongue-in-cheek humour (albums like "Folkémon", songs like "Great Blow for a Day Job", etc.) I really, really want to love them.  But it's that folk stumbling block that I can't get past.

Skyclad - "Swords of A Thousand Men" (Tenpole Tudor cover)

I think my biggest issue with Celtic folk metal is that it tends to run toward symphonic/power metal and clean singing.  But surely, with my love of folk music in general, bagpipes, flutes, drinking and metal...SURELY there's at least a few Celtic-inspired folk metal bands out there that I can enjoy.  So awa' we gae...

Celtachor

I think these guys probably lean more towards the black end of the metal spectrum but there is a definite Celtic theme and some flute playing going on here.  Of course you could argue that this doesn't really count since the presence of actual folk music is pretty minimal but hey, cut me some slack.  I'm trying. And you can't argue that this LOOKS pretty fucking Celtic.

Celtachor - "The Rise of Lugh"

Celtibeerian

Further proof that metal + booze is a winning formula, this band o' Spaniards mixes Celtic-sounding traditional music with songs about drunkenness and have the added bonus of actually sounding more like folk metal than Celtachor, so I think I can get away with this one.

Celtibeerian, "Praise To The Vineyards"

Heol Telwen

Again, probably cheating.  Black metal from France.  But listen to this track; you can't deny the Celtic folkishness in there.  I also defy you not to think of Tetris while it's playing.  Good luck.

Heol Telwen - "Kan Ar Kern"

So there you go, some Celtic metal I don't hate.  Suck flaming balls!  I'M KEEPING MY CARD!

Holen Sie sich jetzt!

The new Korpiklaani single, "Metsälle", is now available on Amazon.de for the presumably reasonable price of 0,99 Euro.  Get it here:

Metsälle

Woo hoo!

EDIT: It's also up on the German iTunes site, though there's no more preview than anywhere else.  And the wilderness clan has this to say about the song:

"Metsälle was originally composed for the upcoming album and was presented by us at the Eurovision song contest. This song got a lot of attention, and that was one reason to release this song right now. Another reason was that we think it is just a great song!

Metsälle is about the hunt on Hiisi’s magical moose in the Northland. He (Lemminkäinen) puts on his charmed ski’s and takes off for a prolonged hunt through forests and meadows, marshlands and woodlands, rapids and rivers.
This song describes part of the Kalevala story, the national epic of Finland."

So there you go.  Magical mooses.

Eat The Iron, Then Shit Out The Chain.

So on Monday night I went to see Korpiklaani and Arkona on the last leg of their North American tour.  It was a show I had been looking forward to for a long time, and in many respects it was as awesome as I could have hoped.  It was only marred by the shitty pics I took.  I'm going to share a couple of them anyway, but I have to say that for the most part they are pretty disappointing.  My own fault for relying on my phone's camera, I suppose.  Maybe the Krampus will be good to me this year and bring me a new ultra-slim camera-camera along with my inevitable flogging.

First off, I was completely prepared not to give a fuck about either of the opening bands.  I'd never heard of Forged in Flame, and Polkadot Cadaver just sounded dumb.

You can Count on that.

However, Forged in Flame surprised me by rocking the fuck out.  Despite or perhaps because of the fact that they appear to be fronted by Donal Logue, I actually really enjoyed their set.  I didn't get them on film, but I found a handy video track of their song "The Underground".  I'll let you make your own decisions here, since I only feel qualified to comment on folk metal and its related genres and this doesn't really fall into that category.

Forged In Flame - "The Underground"

Okay, I admit he doesn't really look all that much like Donal Logue. But during their set he called freakin' Pat Henry a.k.a. Admiral Nobeard of the Jersey piratecore band Swashbuckle up on the stage to do a song.  That was definitely a highlight.  Incidentally the good Admiral seemed to be there in a roadie capacity, even helping out with the sound checks.

"Check...check...Czech Republic...yaarrr..."

Polkadot Cadaver...the only reason I can think that this band was booked for this tour was because one of their songs sounded like it had polka in the background.  When the stage crew trotted out banners that had a picture of a person in one of those kinds of gas masks that cybergoths seem to love so much, the fucks I was giving started to slide down into the negative integers.

I wanted to give them a chance.  I really did.  But for some reason they just annoyed the shit out of me.  I spent their whole set doing this:

I was pretty kvlt, if I say so myself.

So again in the interests of fairness I will put a video track here for you to make up your own mind, though I am not choosing it with any real interest in determining whether or not it is representative of the band or whether it is one of their better songs. I know they played this at the show, but that's about all I have to say about it.

Polakdot Cadaver - "Pure Bedlam For Halfbreeds"

Anyway, on with the show.

Arkona was, simply, amazing.  The crowd was decently sized...there had been a venue problem and the club they actually played in was a bit smaller...but in retrospect that was a good thing because it was the perfect size for the number of people that were there.  Everyone was super hyped and gave the band much deserved love.  It amazed me how well Masha and guitarist Sergei managed to get the crowd rolling despite the language barrier. I know Masha speaks a little English thanks to some tour diaries on FB but there was very little chatter, just people rocking the fuck out and having a good time. Masha prowled the stage like an angry mother bear just looking for some skulls to crush.  And let me tell you, watching Vladimir "Volk" windmilling while playing the bagpipes was an awesome spectacle.  Here's one of the shitty pics of Masha.  See what's on her shoulders?

I bet she killed it herself.  With her teeth.

That is a fucking full-on wolf pelt.

They played a pretty awesome set.  Good combination of stuff off the new album (Slovo) and some older songs, like "Goi, Rode, Goi!" and the perfect mosh pit song "Stenka Na Stenku".  I attempted to get some wide shots of the whole band but Masha and Sergei especially were jumping around all over the place so it was a bit tricky.

Bagpipe ist krieg!

I wonder how much it sucks to play your entire set with another band's name in man-high letters right behind your head.  And speaking of Korpiklaani...

I've heard the term "whipping the crowd into a frenzy" before but this was the first time I'd seen it in action.  Protip: you want to get a bunch of people flailing around and screaming at a show, do songs about booze.  I'm pretty sure they played almost all of them; I recognized "Beer Beer", "Wooden Pints", "Vodka", "Tequila", and "Bring Us Pints of Beer".  They didn't play "Happy Little Boozer" which was kind of a disappointment to everyone but otherwise it was a solid set.

It was well-nigh impossible to get all of them in one shot, but not because they were running around a lot (although frontman Jonne Järvelä did seem to have a fondness for a campy sort of "look, I'm over here...now, I'm over here!" a few times).  There's just so many of them.  Sadly, however, their current violinist Teemu Eerola was absent...not sure what happened to him, but there was a definite hole there.  I was kind of looking forward to seeing him play as they had made a pretty big deal of him when he got on board.

L to R: Juho, Jarkko, Jonne...

...Matti, and Kalle.

Korpiklaani actually played a pretty long set and had a couple decent encores.  Lots of my favourites - I would have liked to hear "God of Wind" but there was so much other good shit I wasn't too bummed.  They even rocked their "Iron Fist" (Motörhead) cover off Ukon Wacka, which was almost as awesome as watching Motörhead themselves play it live (which I did, Ozzfest '96).

All in all it was an awesome night, and I have to thank The Social for stepping up to take on this show when the original venue bailed, and all the Orlando metalheads who showed up to throw some horns and fuck shit up in the pit.  Sbasiba!

P.S. The title of this post comes from something that was on one of the Korpiklaani shirts.  No, I didn't get it.  I'm a merch purist; I only get tour shirts.

A Moment Of Silence.

Today marks the tenth anniversary of the passing of Chuck Schuldiner.  I don't know that he had anything to do with folk metal per se but he had everything to do with metal in general.  In honor of his memory, then... I am not going to do the posts I had planned today.  Call it a moment of blog silence, if you want.

It's Under Your Beard.

Quick - without Googling - who knows where Estonia is?

Not under your beard, but suspiciously close to Belarus.

Metsatöll is a folk metal band from Estonia.  I have a few of their albums but I have to confess I never really gave them the listen-through they deserve.  This year they released a new album ("Ulg") and if their video for the song "Küü" hadn't caught my eye over at NCS there's a good chance that their discog would still be sitting largely unlistened-to in my stack of stuff I mean to get around to listening to.

Watch this: it features, among other things, a bearded lady, sexy mermaids, and underwater bagpipe playing. In fact most of the video seems to take place at the bottom of a lake.  You aren't going to see this kind of shit in your Belphegor video.

Metsatöll - "Küü"

And since one song is not usually enough to tell you whether you like a band or not, here's their cover of a traditional Estonian ditty called (as near as I can tell) "I Haven't Found My Song".

Metsatöll - "Oma laulu ei leia ma Üles"

Interestingly, Wikipedia has this to say about the Estonian language, as it pertains to Metsatöll:

Metsatöll's titling and lyrics make heavy use of archaic Estonian language and imagery, which often do not have clear English translations...while the word Sutekskäija [ed.: album released in 2006] does mean "werewolf", the Estonian werewolf legends are considerably different from those known in Anglophone countries, and this particular word has an emphasis on the human aspect of the person involved, so a better (although not as catchy) translation might be "One who regularly engages in werewolf business".

I mention this primarily because Google Translate renders "Küü" as "month", which seems...'not as catchy' as the video suggests.  It also offers "cantilever" as a possible translation for the album title "Ulg" (which I have on good authority as meaning "howl").

Metsatöll formed in 1999 and have an impressive catalog of 9 studio albums (my favourite being one whose title seems to translate to "See you  on the battlefield, bastard!").  I'm not sure why they didn't grab my attention before; all the elements I like are there (metal, folkiness, bagpipes) and they are a damn solid band.  I think I will go on the assumption that they are like beard chow: stuff that you can root out after a day or two and enjoy when you think there's nothing left to eat.  So here's another video for you to enjoy, or save in your face pubes in case you run out of folky deliciousness later.

Metsatöll, "Lauhinguväljal näeme, raisk!"

Trollrock Out With Your Trollcock Out.

Okay, I know the title of this post is pretty damn sexist but the closest female equivalent I could think of was "Trollspaz Out With Your Trollvag Out" which, aside from being a pretty shitty rhyme, just doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

This will make sense later, I promise.

Quick - without Googling it - who knows where Belarus is?

Follow-up question: who knew that there was even a country called Belarus?

Well now you do.  And you also now know (because I said so) that Belarus is home to a few pretty sweet bands, one of whom is the awesome folk rock/metal collective known as Litvintroll.  Now I am not going to lie to you, I stumbled across this band in the very un-metal fashion of keyword searching "troll" on YouTube.  This is something I do on a semi-regular basis for no other reason than it lets me discover new bands like Litvintroll (guess how I discovered this band? Go on, guess.).

This is the first video I came across:

Litvintroll - "Rock 'N' Troll"

I'm guessing I don't have to tell you I dug this immediately.  I mean the one dude is playing a freakin' recorder, for fuck's sake. There is absolutely NOTHING metal about the recorder.  Or so I once thought.  The other unusual instrument you'll see and hear in this video is a bagless bagpipe (not a "pipe" as is commonly and incorrectly thought).  Okay, I'm sort of guessing on that one.  It might be a zhaleika.  My knowledge of folk instruments is pretty limited...I know some of the more common ones, you know, like accordions and junk. Oh, and there are bagged bagpipes too, at the end.  After the breakdown.

Regardless.  This is not as metal as I usually like my folk metal to be, but Litvintroll has some damn catchy riffs and grooves.  They produce what I like to affectionately call "stompers", id est, songs that makes you want to stomp around and spill some beer on someone (otherwise known to the non-metal community as 'dancing').  Here's what I mean:

Litvintroll - "The Air Is Fragrant With Thyme"

Don't let the song title fool you.

Kind of makes me wish I understood Belarusian so I could sing along and not have to make up my own lyrics ("boxes and boxes and boxes of borscht! Huah!").  I realize 'singing along' is not metal, but I'm about as trve and kvlt as Miley Cyrus so I'm okay with that.  

One more: a cover.

Litvintroll - "Breaking The Law" (Judas Priest)

And because I'm not too proud to admit when I am wrong, it took hearing a cover of this song by a Belarusian folk metal band before I realized that the first line was not "Darryl was completely wasted..." For so much of my life I have endured sleepless nights wondering who the fuck Darryl was, and now thanks to Litvintroll I can finally rest.

That's Belarus.  And now you know.

Punched In The Face With A Bear.

I wasn't going to write a post about Arkona yet.  I wanted to let things percolate a little.  But these Russian pagan folk metallers have been on my mind lately, for two main reasons.

1. I'm going to see them play (with Korpiklaani) in a couple of days, and:

2. This post by a folk musician and pagan rocker for whom I have mad respect, (the incomparable Sharon Knight) over on the pagan music hub The Movement Of Sound, which seems to suggest that even in a big city like SF the turnout for an Arkona show can be disappointingly small.

Clearly, I am not going to be able to rest on my laurels and say 'job well done' for making a couple of posts here about folk metal.  Clearly, action needs to be taken.  Clearly, not enough people know about this band.  Also, Wolves has declared a state of Bear-Punching Emergency: everything (the Year-End Rear-End best of 2011 list, blog template fiddling, pants) must be dropped immediately so I can roll out this five-alarm fucker of a post about the greatest Russian band you aren't listening to, ARKONA.

I reviewed their most recent album (Slovo) over on my favourite metal blog No Clean Singing, which you can check out here. In it, I described Arkona frontwoman Masha Ahripova's voice as being "like getting punched in the face with a bear."  Not BY a bear; WITH a bear.  I just want to make that clear: getting punched by a bear is bad, because they get a lot of body weight behind their swing, and it's really not so much a punch as a disemboweling claw attack.  Getting punched with a bear is worse, because you're getting the whole bear.

In the face.

Okay, so Arkona is a pagan metal band from Russia.  "Pagan metal isn't a genre," you say, "it's a lyrical style,"  to which in all forthrightness I respond that "lyrical styles are just as valid for BLAH BLAH SUCK FLAMING BALLS." Because I'm mature like that.

Arkona is folky and metally and booze-drinky goodness, with a big chunk of Slavic culture bleeding all over the top of it, and Masha's voice is astounding in its intensity whether clean or growled.  Here's a video for which you will say 'sbasiba' to me profusely and repeatedly until you embarrass yourself with the magnitude of your gratitude.

Arkona - "Yarilo"

You see what I'm talking about?

Maybe that's too metal for you; admittedly not everyone has the giant glacier-iced balls to handle the demon bear-goddess Masha's scream for which she is duly named ("Masha Scream"...you see how that works).  To those people I say folk you:

Arkona - "Slavsia Rus"

Again, you're welcome.  The North American tour is almost over; here's your chance.

Dec 11: The Hangar, New Orleans LA
Dec 12: The Social, Orlando FL
Dec 13: Masquerade Music Park, Atlanta GA
Dec 14: Alrosa Villa, Columbus OH
Dec 15: JAXX, Springfield VA
Dec 16: The Reverb, Reading PA
Dec 17: Palladium, Worcester MA

If they are coming within a bear's punch of you, GO SEE THEM.  Did I mention they're from Russia? I don't think they get over here too often.  GO.

Yurt Time Is Now.

YUUURT

Thanks for the feedback on this so-far blog.  There have been some issues with formatting and readability so I am going to be experimenting with things over the next couple of weeks to get everything working a little more smoothly.  There will still be posts!

I like a sense of community and I've already had a couple of people ask for some things.  If there's anything you want to see here, or maybe there's a band you think I haven't heard or that is in need of more exposure, let me know.  It sounds like there have been a few poor turn-out shows on the current Korpiklaani/Arkona tour, and if bands of this caliber aren't drawing the people in I can only assume that my work of spreading folk metal across the land has only just begun.  I'm probably going need a steed of some kind, preferably a wolf made out of troll-hammers, lightning, and bears.

The 6 Reasons You Hate Folk Metal And Why They Are Completely Untrue.

1. "I don't like metal...it's just screaming and noise." 

This is really just not true, but leaving aside the whole noise vs. music debate for a moment, the key word here in the topic under discussion, to wit, FOLK METAL, is the word FOLK.  While folk metal is indeed metal, it's also, well...folk.  And since most of the bands in question do try to incorporate traditional music into their mix, it's sometimes more folk than metal. Exempli gratia:

Troll Gnet El - "Troll bends fir"

2. "I don't like folk, it's hippie crap for Renaissance Faires."

Usually a complaint from the trve kvlt metalheads, because folk metal (being based in folk music) is often by nature fun happy party music.  That is not always the case; some folk music is dark and depressing and not fun happy party music at all.  Likewise with folk metal, especially since the so called (by me) "Golden Age" of folk metal happened around the same time as the upsurge of True Norwegian Black Metal (a.k.a. TNBM) and Viking metal.  There's a definite crossover between these three musical styles, and some of the biggest and/or most well known folk metal acts have deep, deep roots in black metal.  Exempli gratia:

Moonsorrow - "Hvergelmir"

Note in the previous selection that this pretty much epitomizes what I like to call the "whirlwind of angry bees in a cave" sound that says "I am listening to black fucking metal."

3. "Folk metal is just a bunch of dudes wearing furs and waving swords around."

First of all, no.  You're thinking of Manowar.

Also known as Manocandy.

Second, does this look like a dude in furs?

Arkona - "Liki Bessmertnykh Bogov"

4. "I don't like folk music OR metal."

Okay, fine.  But let me ask you this: do you like culture? History? Dancing? Drinking? Partying? Pirates? If you answered "no" to one of these, we'll go with the rest; if you answered "no" to all of them, I really can't help you and I'm almost 100% sure you're not actually a human being.

Fängörn - "Trolls Strong Beer"

5. "Folk metal is just cheesy."

You know what? I'm not going to say this is 100% wrong.  There is or can be a certain cheese factor to folk metal.  But as a reason to HATE folk metal, it doesn't hold.  Here's a test: tell me which of the following is the cheesiest.

My point being that folk metal cheese is no worse than the cheese of other bands that have gone on to become inexplicably more popular than their folk metal counterparts despite either not being folk metal (pic 1: black metal gods Immortal) or playing generally shitty music (pic 2: Slipknot), or just generally being shitty in all aspects musical or otherwise (pic 3: Insane Clown Posse).  By comparison the stalwart heroes in the last picture (Turisas) are models of class and restraint.

Though in the interests of 'journalistic' fairness, this is what Turisas usually look like:

Most assuredly not Manowar.

Regardless.  Folk metal = cheese? Maybe.  Cheese = hate? No.  Unless you're a juggalo, of course.

6. "Folk metal is a trend/fad/gimmick whose time has passed."

Now if you're like me and you believe that folk metal has its roots in plain old regular metal's fascination with swords, wizards, dragons and crap, we can trace that fucker all the way back to Black Sabbath (at least).  If you hold with the generally accepted theory (and by "generally accepted theory" I mean "what it says on Wikipedia") that 'true modern' folk metal got its start with the British band Skyclad (formed in 1990), that's still a pedigree stretching back more than 20 years (though the Wikipedia page on folk metal actually attributes the start to Golgotha's 1984 EP "Dangerous Games", which would put it at 27 years).  I dunno about you, but to me a fad or trend is something that lasts a couple of years at most.  And of course I could argue that folk music (a pretty important part of FOLK METAL) goes back to, well, music.  All of it.

I'm not saying Black Sabbath is folk metal, of course (though note the non-metal use of a traditional folk instrument, the harmonica).  I'm just saying that folk metal didn't rise in 2005 and die in 2007 as a lot of people seem to think.  It's got, oh, what's the word....oh yeah.  History.

So there you go: all this time you actually loved folk metal and didn't know it.  You're welcome.

The Smell Of Burning Urine Is Totally Metal.

Skálmöld.

I first heard about this band while following the exploits of this year's European Heidenfest, which boasted a stellar lineup of such pagan gods as Finntroll, Arkona, Turisas, Alestorm, TrollfesT, and Wintersun.  Epic company indeed.

 Here's what I know:

Skálmöld is a 6-piece Icelandic horde of Viking bastards who released their debut album 'Baldur' in July of 2010.  They blend folk influences with...okay I'm gonna say it...EPIC metal. I know there's a lot of hate for that word but there's really no other way to describe it.  Their sound makes you think of fjords.  At least it should.  Icy fjords, and maybe a little hákarl, and Vikings pissing on stuff.  (Warning: this epic video has some epic epicness at the start before it     epically gets to the epic song.)

It's the only way to be sure that it's out.

Anyway, I finally got around to checking out a couple of their songs and I have to say "Baldur" nets a quality rating of four drinking horns out of  a possible score of five.  Personally I think their songs could be a wee bit tighter and more focused, but this is a solid album for all fans of the Viking.  Here's another track to check out.

Watch out! He's got an axe!

It's a studio track with kind of a crappy "we don't have a video for this yet so here's a pic of the album cover flying right out at you!" visual but so far I like this song the best.  Grab a pint and throw some horns; Skálmöld is going to pillage the crap out of your face.